Stir of Echoes: The Homecoming (2007) R - 1½ Stars

I don't think this movie did a very good job of explaining why Lowe came back as dysfunctional as he did. Even though he keeps having flashbacks, I dunno, he just wasn't very convincing to me of someone who gave a crap about much.

Ted Cogan (Rob Lowe), is a captain in the National Guard who has just returned home from his duty in Iraq. He has trouble putting his life back in order, as he is continually haunted by visions of Iraq. These visions dramatically interrupt his life when he keeps replaying faces of the innocent bystanders accidentally killed by him in Iraq. After his son takes it out on an Arab looking local boy, Ted seeks the help of a psychic to try to regain control of his life.

Lions Gate Films
Director: Ernie Barbarash
Writer: Ernie Barbarash
Producers: Philip Stilman, Claire Welland

Rampart (2011) R - 1½ Stars

I gotta say this movie is pretty bad and very boring and after watching it I couldn't care a less for the main character or not. Woody what were you thinking by taking this gig? It's not his acting that ruins the film while playing a dirty cop with a bad attitude. It's the horrible cinematography, the horrible musical score, and even Harrelson's dramatic performance isn't enough to save the day. The movie feels completely pointless and the ending doesn't explain any better. There is not one person in the entire movie that I cared two cents about. Here's the story...

A cop has two daughters and he'll do anything to protect them and his image in their eyes. The children are from different mothers who are sisters, therefore they are first cousins/step sisters. They all live together under one roof and Harrelson sleeps with both sisters as well as any other female he chooses. The oldest disrespects her father calling him "date rape" for short. This cop has everyone watching him because of his irratic behavior on duty and if they can pin their division scandal on him, there free and clear in the public eyes. But he continues to clear the streets of public scum, gaining no respect in his children's eyes. Hey wait, maybe that's the story! We're supposed to hate this overworked, under loved and unappreciated, dirty cop that is tarnishing the reputation of the L.A.P.D. Are there cops like this in the system? We'd like to think not but there are those who think that putting on the badge gives them the right to harass and take down bad guys by any means. I guess this movie is trying to show one in particular that worked at Rampart Division. I walked away with nothing from this movie except a quick review for my blog.

Dave Brown (Woody Harrelson), is being watched by his Rampart Division of the L.A.P.D.. He has allegedly killed a serial date rape which in his eyes is part of doing his job. Internal affairs Joan Confrey (Sigourney Weaver), goes after Brown while Kyle Timkins (Ice Cube), investigates him after video shows Brown brutally injuring a black unarmed civilian. Brown's cash flow begins to run low so he dips his hand in the bad guys cookie jar once last time. You decide the ending.

Lightstream Pictures, Waypoint Entertainment, Amalgam Features, The Third Mind Pictures
Director: Oren Moverman
Writers: James Ellroy, Oren Moverman
Producers: Clark Peterson, Ben Foster, Ken Kao

I viewed 8/12

Monster (2008) NR - 1½ Stars

I gotta say folks, this is one of the worst monster movies of modern times. Shot in a Blair Witch, Cloverfield, type format, this movie really stinks. Here's what you do. Give two fairly decent looking girls a camera , break the switch so it turns on and off randomly, throw in a few Japanese friends willing to lower their dignity and a squishy octopus you rarely see and yes you too can make a movie. Supposedly, this footage has been found two years after Tokoyo Japan is reported to have had a major earthquake.

The so called "monster" you never really even see. I think they could have done so much better with some sort of special effects that at least focus on the ministering menace. Oh yeah, it's an octopus but it leaves underground like a giant worm? I'm confused but I guess I've seen worse.

After a massive earthquake hits Tokoyo Japan, thousands are dead. The world chocks it up to just another earthquake in that part of the country. But two years later, tapes are found belonging to sisters Erin Lynch(Erin Evans), and Sarah Lynch (Sarah Lieving), documenting what really happened to the town as they captured while on and expedition to report on global warming.

The Global Asylum
Director: Erik Estenberg
Writer: Erik Estenberg
Producers: Jeff Cagle, Paul Bales

I viewed 2/12

Where The #$&% Is Santa (2008) R - 1½ Stars

I've gotta stop borrowing movies from my neighbor when he says, "This is funnier then hell - you've got to watch it!" Shouldn't I have learned by now that means it's totally tasteless and sucks. It at least that means we have totally different tastes in what's funny. But hey, if you like watching someone eat a reindeer's eyeball and then poop it out later so someone else can can step on it to show it went in almost the same way it came out, well then this may be the movie for you. Are these Jack Asses the same guys from Jack Ass the movie series? If not, they should all hook up.

Bam Margera, his wife Missy and family all join together with Bam's friends to make a video about traveling to the Artic Circle to capture and bring back Santa Claus for Christmas. Their trek takes them across Lapland Finland by bus, sled, helicopter and foot. Along the way, they trash cars with Christmas trees, use slow blowing machines to chill buns, have an indoor snow and flour fight, and some close ups of one of the knuckleheads defecating. This is NOT a Christmas movie for children of any age.

Sonar Entertainment, Bam Margera Productions, Capital V Productions
Directors: Bam Margera, Joe DeVito
Writers: Bam Margera, Joe DeVito, Joe Frantz
Producers: Terry Hardy, Bam Margera

I viewed 9/09

County General (2005) NR - 1½ Stars

Well here is another one of Maverick Entertainment's attempt at a movie. I swear, it should be a huge warning to me when I see that name on the outside of the box. But, once again in a moment of insanity, I inserted yet another one of their finest flops into my DVD. I love the way the box explains it. "The food is bad, The doctors are worse, and the nurses are really really naughty." Well the movie is bad, the writing is worse and other than the one nurse showing off her boobs and sleeping with any and everyone, it's not that naughty either.

The movie stars Jean Claude LaMarre, Robin Thede, Samuel "Caffeine" Monroe, John Jean, Kirtsine Bernard and Tine "Zeus" Lister. Basically, Craig (Jean Claude LaMarre), is a film student who is about to fail his final class exam unless he can come up with a very cool documentary on something. His last attempt at a film was a remake of "Titanic" filmed in his friends swimming pool. Craig's girlfriend Simone works at County General Hospital and Craig decides to shot a short film about the people who work there and the clients the see. However, Craig gets a bit too much information on tape and now everyone wants to foil the plans of his shot. No photos available.

Maverick Entertainment Group, Inc.
Director: Sphear Collins
Producers: Lila Aviv, Ken Halsband
Writers: Jean Claude Lamarre, Skryb Brown, Sphear Collins

I viewed 7/09

The Theory of Everything (2005) - 1½ Stars

This is not my type of movie as my spirituality comes from a different direction than a biblical source but a true Christian, might enjoy the story. David De Vos, wrote, directs, and also stars in this little tale of faith. Trying to wear all those hats probably causes the film to suffer in conveying it's message. What I took away from it was you can have a pragmatic way of trying to find a closer connection to God, or the powers that be over the universe, or you can stop over analyzing it, open your eyes and look right in front of you.

Dr. Eugene Holland (Victor Lundin), is a brilliant physicist, who's mind is starting to leave him suffering from the degenerative brain disease (CJD). Before he looses his ability to reason and think, he is in a mad dash to complete his formula on his "Theory of Everything," proving the existence of God.

Doug Holloway (David De Vos), who seems to be on his own quest to find God after his life seems to be falling apart. With his marriage failing, he feels the need to seek out his own biological father. Both men, with their different missions, will meet up and show each other that God can exist in places you are not looking.

Blue Yonder Pictures
Director: David De Vos
Writer: David De Vos

I viewed 6/09

Inland Empire (2006) R - 1½ Stars

I usually love David Lynch movies and his quirky style of filming. The movies are bizzare and Laura Dern seems to like them too cause Lynch usually casts her in the major roles. With his unusual surreal style, he seems to find the characters with great Diane Arbus type faces. However, I think David's gone too far with this latest attempt. Granted you need to stay with the story line real well or you will get lost, but I don't think this movie really has one.

Kingsley (Jeremy Irons) is a director making a remake of a Polish movie about a prostitute that is trying to escape a slave ring. The first movie was never completed as both leads were murdered. Nikki (Laura Dern), is cast as the star and she starts feeling like the movie she is playing a role in, is mimicing her real life. However, someone please tell me where the imagery of humans in bunny suits, and screwdriver in stomachs ties in? Nikki eventually becomes lost in her character.

2006 - Inland Empire - National Society of Film Critics - Best Experimental Film.

Absurda Productions
Director: David Lynch
Writer: David Lynch
Producers: David Lynch, Mary Sweeney

I viewed 9/07

Youth Without Youth (2007) - 1½ Stars

You know I was getting into this movie at first but it started getting confusing and then boring to me. Confusing because I was pretty much lost over the relationship between Dominic and Veronica and her accident that left her chanting other languages. Boring because I completely lost attachment for the characters and just wanted the movie to be over with. Sadly, I turned it off just before the end because I didn't want be confused anymore.

Dominic Matei (Tim Roth) is a 70 year old man who is has lost his wife and fears he will not finish his life's work before he dies. One day while he was out, he was struck by lightning and burned badly. What should have killed him, instead reverses the signs of time on his body and makes his mind mentally sharp as a tack, until he regresses into the body of a 40 year old. He can learn new languages in his sleep and merely glance at a book cover to uncover the knowledge inside. But with WWII lurking in the background, Dominic is wanted by everyone including the Nazis to observe his remarkable survival. When he meets Veronica (Alexandra Maria Lara), who reminds him so much of his dead wife Laura, that's where I had to draw the line on the movie. What started out as a romance, turned to a strange obsession of insanity that I found more irritating than compassion for the characters.

Sony Pictures Classics
Director: Francis Ford Coppola
Writer: Francis Ford Coppola
Producer: Francis Ford Coppola

I viewed 10/08

Journey To The Center Of The Earth (2008) NR - 1½ Stars

No, not the Brendan Fraser version but believe it or not there were three movies produced this year all named Journey to the Center of the Earth. And having not seen the other two yet, please tell me there's something better done with the original 1959 classic movie by Jules Verne. This one is pretty lame and was produced for cable TV rather than the big screen, for good reason. First off nothing in the movie remotely looks like it was filmed in the center of the earth. Instead, this version looks like it was filmed in the Santa Monica mountains, complete with blue sky and the foliage that grows along the mountainside.

A team of 6 women are getting ready to be beamed from where they stand to another location to engage in combat. Sort of like in Star Trek "beam me up" and I'm sorry I don't remember the term for this type of transportation. Well something goes wrong and instead the team is transported to the center of the earth complete with hungry dinosaurs and large spiders. The girls have conflicts with the beasts as their numbers are being eaten away.

Meanwhile, the crew (ha ha), that sent them there by mistake, get in a huge machine and travel to the center of earth to rescue the girls. They make it just in time to bring four back home alive and live happily ever after. All they had to do is put some fake CGI background with it and it could have raised the rating for the film. You can avoid this one from the three.
Starring Greg Evigan, Dedee Pfeiffer.

The Asylum
Director: Scott Wheeler and Davey Jones
Producer: David Michael Latt, David Rimawi, Paul Bales
Writers: Steve Bevilacqua and Scott Wheeler

I viewed 8/08

Juarez Mexico (2007) NR - 1½ Stars

That "based on a true story" gets me every time but I have to start reading the covers better when I rent a movie. Mainly I have to keep my eyes open for Maverick Entertainment films as I haven't been happy with one yet. After watching "Border" I was interested in seeing more about the women that mysteriously turn up dead. This movie unfortunately shed no light on much and the acting can't get any worse. The staged fight scenes and cheeeeeeeeezzzzzyyyy acting look like something me and my friends could have done.

Since 1993 more than 400 girls have been killed in Juarez Mexico. According to authorities, most of these young girls were raped and cut up. Johnny Cash (James Cahill), a private investigator goes to Mexico in search of a young girl missing. He stumbles upon a doctor preforming surgeries to give organs to patients who can pay for them.

Not much else to say about it except the story line had a chance. If it could have hired some decent actors, oh wait... that's Border with Jennifer Lopez. Get that version instead. If you would like to read more about these women of Juarez, you can go to the Juarez Project Page.

Maverick Entertainment
Director: James Cahill
Writer: James Cahill

I viewed 7/08

American Dreamz (2006) PG 13 - 1½ Stars

Now here's a movie that did absolutely nothing for me. Made to look like an American Idol comedy story, I didn't find myself laughing much at all as it just wasn't very funny. Instead, I felt myself dozing off a couple times.

The President of the United States, (Dennis Quaid) is having some sort of mental problem and spends the day in his pajamas. He doesn't conduct much work or get involved in what's going on in the nation. The Chief of Staff (Willem Dafoe) doesn't know what to do anymore to bring him around.

One day President Staton starts reading the newspapers, and finds he can't stop. Reading everything, he can get his hands he's discovering everything that is going on in the world and feels like he's just woken up to become a part of it. Rumors are surfacing that he's ill and suffering a nervous breakdown. His Chief of Staff decides the best way to get the president back in public view is to make him a guest judge on T.V.'s top rated show, American Dreamz.

The show is hosted by Martin Tweed, (Hugh Grant) an arrogant snob, completely bored with his job. Martin wants to add some contrast to the show and enlists his crew to find him an Arab that can perform. Omer (Sam Golzari) is found and now will compete against Sally (Mandy Moore), in the final competition. But there's more to the story when Omar's friends intend to plant a bomb on stage. The final competition is sure to send the ratings through the roof.

Universal Pictures
Director: Paul Weitz
Writer: Paul Weitz
Producers: Paul Weitz, Rodney Liber, Andrew Miano

I viewed 11/07

Red Shadow (2001) NR - 1½ Stars

With Japanese subtitles, the movie is set in 1545, where three ninjas, Red Shadow (Masanobu Ando) Aka Kage, Blue Shadow (Jun Murakami) Aoi Kage and of Asuka (Kumiko Aso) are the disciples of the master one master White Shadow (Naoto Takenaka) all part of the feared Kageichi ninja group. They are sent on a mission and when Asuka is killed, the other two go their separate ways while dealing but eventually come together to avenge her death.

If you like Ninja adventures this movie has plenty of action for you. To me, it was more of a ninja comedy, cheesy, hard to follow the story line as people keep changing sides. It didn't do much for me and I found myself laughing more at it then being entertained. I could not find the production company to give credit to them.

Director: Hiroyuki Nakano
Writer: Mitsuteru Yokoyama

I viewed 2/07

The Iris Effect (2004) R - 1½ Stars

The cover of this DVD had me intrigued to rent it. Sometimes I don't even read what the movie is about or who is in it as that does not always have baring on whether I rent it or not. I usually go for the Independent or Sundance movies. Unfortunately for me, the acting is pretty bad and this movie did not live up to my expectations. The only thing good about the movie was the scenary of St. Petersburg.

Sarah Hathaway (Anne Archer) has been searching for her son Thomas (Yuri Kolokolnikov) who ran away from home over 10 years ago after the two had an argument. When she finds a clue, an entry in an old art book, that he might be in St. Petersburg, she travels from Los Angeles to Russia in hopes of finding her missing son.

She seeks an artist that paints Iris's in all of his work. Convinced she has found her son when she sees an exhibit of paintings covered by Iris's she confronts the artist, who claims he's not her son Thomas. Dr. Hathaway has a nervous breakdown but finds comfort through the caring soul of Dr. Ivan (Gregory Hlady) who helps her find some much needed closure.

I couldn't find any photos from the movie but here is the movie poster at least it's nice to look at.

Good Film Factory
Director: Nikolai Lebedev

I viewed 2/07

Superbad (2007) R - 1½ Stars

Okay now here's a case where I want you to tell me PLEASE if I am wrong with my opinion. This movie got fairly decent reviews most places however, I think it pretty much stunk. The title appropriately fits the move. It's about a bunch of nerds trying to score with the women. I just didn't find much funny about it at all. The lines were predictable and just plan stupid most of the time. So I guess if you like those type of mindless movies, this ones for you.

Evan (Michael Cera), Seth (Jonah Hill) and with Fogell's (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) help, get a fake ID to buy alcohol to impress the girls.

Awards:

2007 - Superbad - Austin Film Critics - Best Breakthrough Artist
2007 - Superbad - Chicago Film Critics Association - Most Promising Performer

Sony Pictures Releasing
Director: Greg Mottola
Writers: Evan Goldberg, Seth Rogen
Producers: Shauna Robertson, Judd Apatow

I viewed 1/08

Caved In: Prehistoric Terror (2006) R - 1½ Stars

Ewwwwwww this is a pretty bad movie and the special effects can't help as they are horrible. I love a good Sci-Fi but this is NOT it

However, a group of thrill seeking adventure makers decide to explore and abandoned mine shaft in search of hidden treasures. The caves are deep in the earth and while down there, they awaken some sort of prehistoric beetle and now getting back out will be the fight of their lives.

Lions Gate Films
Director: Richard Pepin
Writer: David Marie Anderson
Producer: Lisa Hansen

I viewed 8/06

Saw IV (2007) R - 1½ Stars

To me, here is how you take a great movie like the original Saw, and you run it into the ground. There was not much I liked about this latest version of the Saw series. What made number one so great was everything you experienced for the first time. Now they've added way more grossness to the movie and I had a hard time even watching blood squirting all over the place. Part of the coolness with the original Saw was the gore factor was not visually thrown in your face but more implied.

John is still reeking havoc on a town but with this one last game, he's targeting SWAT Commander Rigg (Lyriq Bent). Enough said. This was crap and if they make another one, I will protest by not seeing it.

Lions Gate Films
Director: Darren Lynn Bousman
Writers: Patrick Melton, Marcus Dunstan
Producers: Gregg Hoffman, Mark Burg, Oren Koules

I viewed 1/08

Just Another Girl on the I.R.T. (1993) R - 1½ Stars

A coming of age story but I really have a hard time seeing something like this happening. A young black girl growing up in the Brooklyn housing projects gets pregnant and has the baby at home without telling her mom. Can that really happen that your own mother can't tell your pregnant? You hear it happening some times on the news but......

Chantel Mitchell (Ariyan Johnson) is a young teenage girl growing up the tough way but still sort of has it together with a part time job, school and helping out at home. She's growing tired of what she is learning in school and too many demands on her at home so she starts hanging with the boys and meets Tyrone (Kevin Thigpen), who she has sex with. Tyrone refuses to wear a condom and she becomes pregnant. When he suggests an abortion, she wigs out and though in denial, hides her pregnacy from everyone. Eventually she confides in one but it may be too late.

1992 - Just Another Girl on the IRT - Sundance Film Festival - Special Jury Prize: Dramatic.

Miramax Films
Director: Leslie Harris
Writer: Leslie Harris
Producers: Leslie Harris, Erwin Wilson

I viewed 1/08

Day Watch (2006) R - 1½ Stars

This movie was hard for me to follow and I don't believe it was the subtitles but more I lost interest in it. Basically, Day Watch is the group that represents the power of the light, the goodness, and Night Watch is the group that represents the dark, evil. The Day Watch monitors the night and visa versa. One night while on patrol for the Night Watch, Anton Gorodensky (Konstantin Khabensky) and Svetlana (Maria Poroshina) are summoned to a disturbance where Anton's son has committed the attack. Anton has to quickly decide what to do to protect his son or protect his mission.

I felt it was trying to be like a Matrix type movie but for me at least, I had a hard time staying with it and have to give it a thumbs down. Foreign with Russian Subtitles.

Fox Searchlight Pictures
Director: Timur Bekmambetov
Writers: Sergei Lukyanenko, Timur Bekmambetov, Aleksandr Talal
Producers: Max Dankevich, Suzanne Jobson, Anatoly Maximov

I viewed 3/08

Stinger (2005) PG13 - 1½ Stars

The is about one of the cheesiest low budget monster movies I have ever seen. Two blond bimbos, oh excuse me scientists, along with the military, get sent down into a submarine to fix a problem where an experiment has gone terribly wrong. Giant scorpions have taken over the sub and the crew is dead. Say no more.

I am sure the cast won't mind me not mentioning their names. I couldn't even find the information on who directed, produced this farce. I'm only adding the 1/2 star to the one star rating because I didn't want to shoot myself after watching it like I normally do with a one star rating.

Shoreline Entertainment

I viewed 1/08