The Ivory (2004) NR - 1 Star

Cristina Aroca, Guillermo Bergandi, Agustín Lozano, Ezequiel Cipols and Enrique Liporace are the stars of this real stinker of a movie. In Spanish with English subtitles, The Ivory aka El Marfil has got to be about one of the lamest movies I have ever watched. Hardly worth the time of a revue, basically there is an Ivory tusk horn that the family has been given in a game of chess. It is said to have great magical powers and the ability to grant three wishes should they decide to believe in it. But believing in it's powers unleashes the evil of greed that costs the son his life and mom must unleash the power again to wish him back. Just horrible story line, bad hammy acting and with subtitles, maybe there's more to it than I saw but I just don't want to work that hard to see a movie. Sorry could find absolutely nothing in the way of an image from the movie.

I viewed 11/07

The Last Winter (2006) NR - 3 Stars

I liked the concept of this movie a lot where the earth takes back what mankind infringes upon, and if it would have had a stronger story line, it could have been a much better movie. I really only identified with Hoffman and possibly Pollock the greedy ruthless leader of the group but as opinions go, the person I watched it with loved everything about this movie.

A crew on a petroleum exploration, goes to a remote part of Northern Alaska to evaluate and prepare the site for "North," a large oil manufacturing company. When the some of crew start acting differently, they start to believe they're not out there alone. Strange visions are seen by some of the crew as they await the start of the project.

Ed Pollack (Ron Perlman) is the macho leader of the expedition and hell bent on drilling this area. His team, on a schedule, is already behind due to a climate warming change that is making it impossible to create ice roads to bring the equipment in. He's unwilling to take no for an answer.

James Hoffman (James Le Gros) and Elliot Taylor (Jamie Harrold) are research scientists sent to insure the environment will not be altered the area. The rest of the team consists of Motor (Kevin Corrigan), the mechanic who smokes pot and drinks too much, Abby Sellers (Connie Britton), who used to be in love with Ed but now is sleeping with James, and Maxwell McKinder (Zach Gilford) an inexperienced worker who's told he must be there by his father. Dawn Russell (Joanne Shenandoah) and Lee Means (Pato Hoffmann) are the Native Americans and hired hands for the expedition.

Hoffman makes some grave discoveries of the warming patterns in the area. His theory is the ground is becoming unstable and they must abort their mission as it would cause way too much havoc on the land. But Pollock is dead set against turning back now and instead orders Hoffman off the team.

Cabin fever begins to set in and strange changes are starting to effect some of the crew. Visions of the dark souls of the land are rising up and claiming victims one by one. When these visions start to effect Pollock himself, he decides they should all leave momentarily and have themselves looked at. But the rescue plane does more harm than help when it looses control and crashes into their shelter.

Faced with no other choice, Pollock and Hoffman take off on their last operational scooter in search of a way to get them out. In this white oasis of nothingness, the good in Hoffman battles the evil in Pollock as these dark souls of Mother Earth await their revenge.

IFC Films
Director: Larry Fessenden
Writers: Robert Leaver, Larry Fessenden
Producers: Jeff Grace, Jeffrey Levy-Hinte, Dave Eggar

I viewed 6/08

2 Days in Paris (2007) R - 2½ Stars

I liked the direction of the way this movie was shot but it also found it on the annoying side with the constant battle of dialogue among the two stars. Switching back and forth from French to English was not the problem, but the constant bickering from both characters made me want to shut them off at times and I didn't feel myself connecting to anyone. I think the point of the movie was that even with constant bickering, two people can find and hold onto love. Julie Delpy writes, directs and stars in the flick.

French photographer Marion (Julie Delpy) and American interior designer Jack (Adam Goldberg) have just returned from a trip to Venice. Marion thought her adventure in Venice would be a romantic one with Jack instead, the food didn't agree with Jack so he was miserable most of the time and when he could go out, he took photos to capture the beauty without experiencing it. The couple are constantly bickering but before returning back home to New York, the stop off for 2 days in Paris to see Marion's parents.

Marion's non English speaking parents are quick to laugh at Jack's quirks and talk behind his back and when they are out in public, Marion runs into all sorts of ex boyfriends. As she tries to explain they are just past exes and nothing more, Jack begins to realise the women he thought he knew, he really knows nothing about. But in the end, their constant bickering is just what each other is looking for.

Samuel Goldwyn Films
Director: Julie Delpy
Writer: Julie Delpy
Producers: Julie Delpy, Thierry Potok, Christophe Mazodier

I viewed 6/08

Fierce People (2006) R - 3 Stars

16 year old Finn Earl (Anton Yelchin), has never met his father, the great archaeologist from South America who's been studying the tribe of the Ishkanani . Finn writes to his father and views tapes of the Ishkanani people who have never had contact with the outside world before. He yearns to accept the invitation to spend the summer with his dad and learn more about these primitive people. For now, he lives with his mother Liz (Diane Lane), in Manhattan along with her alcoholic and drug problem.

His mom, a masseuse, has a bit of a cocaine habit and when Finn is arrested for possession of her drugs, Finn's plans to finally meet his dad are canceled. Liz also realizes she can't go on like this anymore and she excepts an offer of rehab from a wealthy old client and friend, Ogden C. Osbourne (Donald Sutherland). Finn will get to meet a tribe after all consisting of these wealthy posh snobs who reside on a 10 mile radius parcel of land.

Once they arrive, they are treated like outsiders and the hired help until of course Osbourne delivers Liz to his elegant manor. It is here the two will take up residency as he and his mother, try to regain their love. Finn becomes involved with Osborne's daughter Maya (Kristen Stewart) and her older brother Bryce Langley (Chris Evans). Finn immediately sees the correlation between the tribe of South America and this tribe of the Osbournes. The way he sees it, the Ishkanani people either love something or kill it and it is no different for this Osbournes and their back stabbing tendencies. Osbourne identifies with Finn and takes him under his wing which causes rage and jealousy amongst the kingdom and eventually Osbourne's death. But he has also taught Finn that something good comes out of something bad, which gives Finn and his mom and fresh start on life. "We are the sum of all people we've ever met. You change the tribe and the tribe changes you."

Lions Gate Films
Director: Griffin Dunne
Writer: Dirk Wittenborn
Producers: Nick Wechsler, Griffin Dunne, Keith Addis

I viewed 6/08

Flawless (2007) PG13 - 3½ Stars

I really enjoyed this movie. Moore and Caine are great together and this movie is really close to a 4 rating in my opinion. Taking place in the 60's and based on a true story, two employees of the London Diamond Corporation are involved in the heist of a life time. Great acting and suspense from everyone.

Laura Quinn (Demi Moore) has been working at the London Diamond Corporation for over 15 years. In the 60's, a woman was hardly recognized for their achievements, and Laura is no exception as she keeps getting passed over for promotions in the company. She has made it to a major managerial position but still isn't allowed to climb any farther up the corporate ladder. Sometimes she's the first to arrive to the office in the morning and the last to leave at night.

Hobbs (Michael Caine) has also been with the company for years. He's the after hour janitor and takes care of cleaning the offices and floors. Hobbs runs into Laura quite often when she works into the evening. He has collected quite a bit of information about the company, after many years of dumping garbage. He's also been going through Laura's trash and has found many notes of frustration she has written and thrown away regarding her lack of acknowledgement within the company. Hobbs has a certain agenda of his own with regards to his contempt against London Diamond and he approaches Laura for her help. He tells her of a plan he has had in the works, to rob the companies vault only taking a small thermos full of stones no one would miss but enough to change their lives. She reluctantly becomes involved and gains the codes to open the vault.

Things seem to be going as planned until the vault is opened the next morning and every last stone has been taken despite the new surveillance camera system. Fearful she will be blamed for the crime, Laura must now try and stay cool as the crime is investigated.

I viewed 6/08

Along Came Polly (2004) PG13 - 3½ Stars

Seems hard to find movies that keep up the pace of funny lines consistently and along with some good named actors, I think this movie does a good job. The bathroom scene with the flooded toilet, had me in stitches.

Reuben Feffer (Ben Stiller) makes a living as a risk assesor for an insurance company and hates taking risks in his own life. His excessive compulsiveness over germs, upsets his stomach and does not allow him time to relax.

Lisa (Debra Messing), is his new bride and on their honeymoon he catches her bedding down with the French speaking scuba instructor Claude (Hank Azaria). Returning home alone, his best friend Sandy Lyle (Philip Seymour Hoffman) and his obnoxious boss Stan Indursky (Alec Baldwin), try to console him. He knows he must get back into life but doesn't know how. And then along came Polly.

Polly Prince (Jennifer Aniston), is bartending a party that Ruben attends and she recognizes him from back in 7th grade. She's a free spirited fun risk taking girl, who owns ferets for pets. After their chance meet, Reuben takes his first major risk on inviting her out. One spicy meal later, Reuben finds himself trying to play it cool while his stomach erupts but he's determined to do what ever he needs to attrack Polly's affection. From salsa dancing to extreme sports, Reuben lets it all hang out and finds that living in the moment is the best risk he's ever taken.

Universal Pictures
Director: John Hamburg
Writer: John Hamburg
Producers: Danny DeVito, Stacey Sher, Michael Shamberg

I viewed 11/07

Thirteen (2002) R - 3½ Stars

I really liked this movie partially written by the co-star Nikki Reed. Filmed in Los Angeles, it's a scary look at what goes in some young girls life when they feel the need to be noticed.

Tracy (Evan Rachel Wood) appears to be a normal 13 year old girl in the 7th grade. She gets good grades in school and is talented in poetry. She lives with her brother and mom Melanie (Holly Hunter). Dad seems to not have much time for his children these days and he has remarried and working on a new project. But Tracy is restless and lacking something, going through that awkward age where her body is changing.

Evie (Nikki Reed), is one of the most popular girls in school and Tracy longs to be like her and have her as a friend. She pays her a compliment one day and Evie gives her a number to call to hook up later on. Tracy thinks she's been accepted until she calls the number only to find out it's disconnected. She heads out for the mall to find Evie and win her as a friend. When she meets up with Evie, her and another girl are shoplifting in a store. Tracy doesn't feel comfortable stealing and starts to leave. But when temptation is in her face of an unguarded purse, she snatches it up and returns to the girls inside offering to buy them new shoes. Instant gratification as she is accepted into the "cool" group. Tracy feels like her life just got the meaning and recognition she's been waiting for.

The girls are inseparable, dressing alike and teasing all the boys. But, Evie is a bad influence on Tracy and the two continue to get into more trouble together when Evie convinces Tracy to pierced her tongue insisting that her mother won't notice. She arrives at school the next day, sporting a thong, tongue ring and a whole new wardrobe accentuating her newly developed body and the boys take note. This one time "good girl" now ditches class, plays with drugs and is ruining her relationship with her mother as well as her old friends.

2003 - Thirteen - National Board of Review - Special Recognition for Excellence in Filmmaking.


Antidote Films
Director: Catherine Hardwicke
Writers: Nikki Reed, Catherine Hardwicke
Producer: Jeffrey Levy-Hinte

I viewed 6/08

Mama's Boy (2007) PG13 - 3 Stars

I was hoping this was going to be a whole lot funnier than it was. Diane Keaton is so great and lately I've just been seeing her in this weak comic type movies. At least this one was better than "I Told You So", barely. I'm sure there are plenty of these mamas boy around as I've met too many of them. Men living with their mothers till way into their 30's because they can get away with it and lack skills needed to get out there on their own.

Jeffrey Mannus (Jon Heder) is a 29 year old mama's boy who's never left the nest. His mother Jan, (Diane Keaton) has allowed her son's behavior to control her life since his father died many years ago. She has not been getting out in the social scene as her demanding drama queen at home, wants to control her every move.

When Mert Rosenbloom (Jeff Daniels), a motivational speaker, meets Jan, he falls head over heels over her. Though she is leery to become involved, due to what her Jeffrey might think, she is also finding she needs to have a life outside of that with her son. But trying to hide this affair is not easy, when eventually Mert wants to move in.

Jeffrey is relocated to the basement so the couple can have some privacy but now it's a full on war between Mert and Jeffrey to see who is going to get mom's attention. Jeffrey even goes as far as enlisting the help of Nora Flannigan (Anna Faris), to drive him to Arizona to dig up more dirt on Mert. Nora has actually started to fall for Jeffrey but he's too busy trying to break up his mom and Mert to notice a new life standing right in front of him. But now that Jeffrey has alienated everyone around him, when he is arrested for relieving himself in a public sink, his only friend left Seymour Warburton (Eli Wallach), bails him out and gets Jeffrey to realise what he must do next in life.

Warner Bros Pictures
Director: Tim Hamilton
Writer: Hank Nelken
Producer: Heidi Santelli

I viewed 6/08

Black Sheep (2006) NR - 3 Stars

Of all the movies I have reviewed to date, I don't think I've used that word "hammy" yet but I feel hammy is exactly how to describe this one. A sheep experiment goes bad and two brothers, 1 good 1 evil, fight to save the farm from the sheep-a-noids.

Henry (Nathan Meister) and Angus Oldfield (Peter Feeney) are two brothers raised as sheep herders on their family ranch in New Zealand. Henry has had a major fear of sheep ever since his brother played a trick on him when they were younger. He is actually in therapy for his fear and on his way to the ranch to sell his part to his brother, now that their father has died. He has not been to the ranch in over 15 years and just taking the ride down a local road where sheep are crossing, gives him the creeps.

His brother Angus, is involved in a genetic experiment to produce the finest woolly coats on his herd. But something has gone terribly wrong and the sheep are starting to bite and attack each other as they developed a desire for the taste of blood. Two environmental activists have snuck onto the land as they've learned Angus has been conducting experiments. The pair release a mutant sheep stuck in a fence who promptly infects the rest of the herd. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwe that was probably not a good thing to do and now they must fight to stay alive.

Meanwhile, Angus has invited a huge group to announce his discovery and show off his top sheep with their nice woolen coat. But things take a turn for the worse when the crowd is attacked by stampeding sheep looking to quench their thirst. They'll be lucky to make it out alive.

First Take, IFC Films
Director: Jonathan King
Writer: Jonathan King
Producer: Philippa Campbell

I viewed 11/07

Zola's Intermission Take 6 - Happy Birthday To Me

Hey gang, I'm taking today and tomorrow off for posting as today is my birthday, cake is on it's way and Tekillya too, so I won't be in any shape to post anything. But rest assured, the movie reviews WILL continue on Monday, June 9th. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. Stay safe!!

Dark Storm (2006) PG13 - 2 Stars

Pretty week movie in most categories. I'm rating it a generous 2 because I got all the way through it without causing too much brain damage. Military usage of an satellite instrument goes bad when grey matter escapes and starts entering it's creators body.

Dr. Daniel Gray (Baldwin) is designing an instrument to alter an object's molecular makeup. General Killion (William B. Davis) is funding the project and eager to see what this team of scientists have come up with. The first examples look very promising of the existence of this new unstoppable weapon which will put the military in number one position on the planet. However, the weapon is still in the experimental mode and highly unstable, and when he starts leaking grey matter into Dr. Gray, he must find a way to destroy it before it consumes him and the rest of the planet.

Insight Film Studios
Director: Jason Bourque
Writers: Sean Malcolm, John Cherfer, Brett Schneider
Producer: Kirk Shaw

I viewed 11/07